World Of Bizarre - Student attacks Hell's Angels (and lives)

Reported here by Reuters, a German student from Allershausen, Bavaria went nuts for reasons as yet unclear. 

The first evidence of this was him (for no apparent reason) making "rude hand gestures" at a group of Hell's Angels. However, clearly feeling this was an inadequate method of venting his rage he then captured a small dog and threw it at the bemused bikers. 


Perhaps at this time he felt he'd pushed his luck too far. (We all know what happens to people who throw puppies at Hell's Angels). So the student decided to make good his escape. By stealing a bulldozer. 

Whether the HA decided to go after him is unclear. Possibly they would have been unable to catch up, as the academic miscreant managed to cause a 3-mile traffic jam by the time he dumped the machine. Police subsequently apprehended him at his house. Apparently he had been suffering from depression. The dog thankfully suffered no harm.

Boy Saves Sister from Moose using World of Warcraft skills.

From the Norway-based news site Nettavisen (here in English via Google Translate, here in Norweigan)

Hans Jørgen Olsen, a 12-year-old boy from Leksvig, Norway was making his way to school with his 10-year-old sister when the pair were confronted by a....MOOSE! The moose was clearly in an irritable mood as it charged them on sight. Young Hans shrieked at the enraged beast but "realised quickly that it would not stop". Presumably when it butted him to the ground. When he regained his bearings the creature was standing menacingly over him.

At this point things get weird. Hans told the newspaper that he drove away the moose by pretending to be dead: a trick he learnt "on Level 30 of World of Warcraft". One might suggest that the moose (a herbivore) got bored and buggered off to find some grass to eat.

But in any case, the moose did leave so Hans and his sister were able to make it to school uneaten. The school nurse was able to confirm that the heroic youth had suffered nowt more damage than a few bruises. All's well that ends well!

Seriously though, a MOOSE? Is a moose really going to kill and devour someone? If so, how? A moose can't exactly GORE ya. Okay, sure, it has antlers. Antlers that look like OVEN GLOVES!

Come to think of it, oven gloves would probably do more damage. You could slap somebody with one and cause them to spill their tea over their foot.


This has been a World Of Bizarre special. 
And unlike *other* sites, I've actually done my research and not embellished the news story.

World Of Bizarre - Vorpal Bunnies and Puking Philadelphians

This story is about a month old. A secondary school teacher from Vechta, Germany has sued a 14-yr -old pupil for drawing a bunny wabbit on the classroom blackboard. The reason? The teacher has a phobia of bunny wabbits and was traumatised! Sounds hare-raising (sorry). Reported here.


Also in the news (thanks Telegraph!), a baseball fan from Philadelphia PA, USA, has pleaded guilty to deliberately vomiting on an off-duty police officer and his daughter in retaliation for the rozzer getting his drunken, foul-mouthed buddy thrown out of the Philadelphia Phillies (shyte name) game. This story makes me sick (sorry). Reported here.
Ironic that this occurred in the City of Brotherly Love, no? But then again, judging by the fans of ECW, Philadelphia appears to be home to some seriously obnoxious turd-brains. Luckily they have Brian Heffron to balance things out!

World Of Bizarre - You're dicked...er...nicked!

As reported in the Northern Echo and the Middlesbrough Evening Gazette, officers of the North Yorkshire Police were dispatched to a shop in Leeming Bar to confiscate a sandstone penis measuring in at 48 inches (and for once, ladies, that's not an exaggeration).


Jason Hadlow, owner of the Simply Dutch curio shop (and chairman of Yarm Town Council), had the giant geological Johnson imported from Indonesia and erected it (tee hee!) in his shop window.

He was perplexed when members (tee hee!) of the constabulary came to confiscate the collossal cock following complaints from the public that the menacing manhood was "obscene".

Mr Hadlow has been levied an £80 fine over the dong dispute but feels the furore is ridickulous (tee hee!) and has begun a Facebook campaign entitled "Free Willy" to protest against the perceived pecker prejudice.

He is also importing 150 more 4-foot phalluses, 10 of which have already been sold for £200 each. (Making mine worth approximately £30. If it was made of stone.)

In case anyone is wondering why Jakarta has a manufacturing industry devoted to rocky ramrods, it is apparently because Indonesians touch them for good luck. Insert joke here. (insert... heh heh heh!)

Words my own. Photo from GazetteLive. Spotter credit to Angry People In Local Newspapers